Joke Corner

A millionaire is driving around his home town in his prized Rolls Royce one day and is a bit bored. He pulls up to a set of traffic lights and is thinking about his life, when a little Beetle pulls up next to him and they both look at
each other.
The rich man looks down his nose at the lowly Beetle, and decides to try and brighten up his boring day by showing off to the bloke in the Beetle as they waited for the lights to turn green.
So he looks down at him and presses a button to lower his electric power window, and it smoothly goes down. But is then surprised as the Beetle driver looks up at him and presses a button in his little car and he too has electric windows.
The rich man is a bit miffed by this, so decides to go one better, and presses another button in the Rolls and watches as the Convertible roof peels back slowly and goes back into it's own little compartment at the back. Beat that he thinks and looks down at the little Beetle. Then to his amazement, the Beetle driver presses a button in his car, and the roof slowly peels back and conceals itself away in it's compartment just as smoothly as it did in the Rolls.
The millionaire can't believe it and is now truly pissed off. Then as he desperately thinks of something else to press, the Beetle driver toots his horn to get his attention and as he looks down he watches the man press another button in his little car. He can't believe what he sees. The passenger seat and all of the rear seats in the Beetle fold away and upside down, to turn into a luxury bed, with duvet, pillows, a headboard and even a little bedside cabinet complete with reading lamp.
The lights turn green and the Beetle speeds off. The rich man cannot believe it. He has been totally outdone by a lowly Beetle. Well he can't have that and drives straight to his Rolls Royce dealer and demands he have the same thing installed in his car, no matter what the cost.
A week later and £25,000 worse off, he is back in his Rolls, bed installed, looking for the little Beetle to show off to. He drives around all day and as night falls, he is just about to give up when he finally sees the little car parked up in a lay-by, with all the windows steamed up. Perfect he thinks to himself, and can't wait to see the Beetle drivers face as he shows him. So he drives up alongside the little car and presses a button and lowers the power window. He leans out and taps on the driver's window of the Beetle, and waits. Nothing. He taps again, a bit louder this time and waits. Still nothing. He bangs on the window and shouts "come on, stop snogging I've got something to show you".
The Beetle's window finally lowers and out pops the drivers head, all covered in sweat. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" shouts the Beetle driver. "Look at this" the rich man replies, and presses his new button and watches with pleasure as all the seats in the Rolls fold away and turn into a luxury bed, even better than the one in the Beetle.
"Well what do you think of that then?" He asks. The Beetle driver looks at him in amazement and says "You got me out of the shower just to show me that?"

A Man and a Woman...

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days". The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."